Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
