I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
