i dont even know how to be here
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
