There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
