that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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