she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
