where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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