I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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