Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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