Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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