apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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