toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
