does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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