is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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