Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
