I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
