Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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