# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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