He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
