Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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