Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
