Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It was confusing and full of hummus
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
