goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
