This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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