sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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