Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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