I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
