I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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