I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
