I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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