There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Couch. On fire.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
