If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
