I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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