your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
