im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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