This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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