i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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