Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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