i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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