Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
