im drinking this country out of the recession.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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