Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize