you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Panties = found
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
