At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
