If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
