dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
