The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
