Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
