at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
