do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
