You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
