YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
someone owes me an orgasm
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize