Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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