my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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