is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
