If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
