I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
