I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
