im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
