I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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