She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
