I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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