im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
